what to do

its summer time and I just moved.

Soim looking for a new job in my new area and I see Toys R Us, Ive already worked there once before as customer service and apply for assitant manager, but dont get it. Instead they offer me customer service again, only in the babies department. boo

so then I think, Ive been working at Metro for a minute now and think to go for supervisor. I ask people around and they think its a good idea. I go to the manager and she says now, some bullshit like theres no openings or some shit like that. That's a lie.

So right now I dont know what to do. Go to TRU for a job i already had, only this time worse and take a step backwards. Stay at metro and wait it out, cuz i know stupid manager is gonna realize that the supervisors she has now are leaving and have me take their place. OR just totally leave Metro, and say FUCK YOU!

any suggestions?

While High

I should be studying but I feel like I should share this with everyone.

This afternoon, before going to work I blazed with my roommate. And whenever I blaze and find myself alone I ALWAYS thing about life... Thats how I know I should be a psychologist, cuz I do that shit in my spare time

To topic I was thinking about was the differences between guys and girls. I was talking to roomie about something that was going on in my life and he gave me the guys perspective on it. And I thought guy and girls really are different. Really though, 2 different planets. Not only in thinking though, In our body type, thought processes, interests, socialization... basically everything really

And thats why jury councells and juding panels and other groups of people that need to make important and significant decisions are always encourages to have an equal amount of males to females. To get the differing perspectives! This is because we alreay recognize that males and females are different and want the presence of perspectives represented in the decision to be made. Essentially, we are NOT the same

And I thought, with our differences so blatently accepted in the society how can ANYONE really expect us to be treated fairly?

Especially when our differennces are so often presented in our faces? Talking about equality in the work force and other areas of life. It is contradictory of society to work towards the equal treatment of women to men, yet still emphasis the differences of thought they carry.

Is it just me or are they trying to put us all in the same group, when we belong in different.

I know... its a conundrum. But then I think maybe it was this obvious differences between maels and females that people recognized and reacted to during the strongly patriarical times. I think, during this time, people were aware of the differences males and females had to simply chose which one they preferred. I'm sure there are other factors that influences the culture of these times, but I believe that this was a subconscious decison (or maybe im just talking the most shit right now)

Anyways... they knew there were differences, they didnt try to hid them, and put them under the carpet. Instead they addressed them full on and encouraged a sexism era.

But then I thought, perhaps it wasnt the rocognition of the differences that encouraged sexism, but sexism that encouraged the differences. From there I just went in circles in my mind... creating theories, providing evidence, then contradicting them and doing it all over again.

But I hope you guys follow what I was trying to say... hope it made sense!

...BRB Grinding

yooo school is so hard right now. I fkkn live at the lirbrary. I literally have no break till december 21 (the last day of my exams)

till then you wont see me. I'm on my grind

Nov. 28 2009

Ya'll need to hear this right now:

Im seeing this guy in toronto meet me ther the 28th at Kool haus...

This is why dude is the greatest, hes fkkn MAKING TRACKS in a FREESTYLE!!

Scary Pizza Man

LOL so I came back from this wack party... but its okay cuz it was right down the street but then I came home and something strange happened

As soon as we walked into the door and got comfortable we hard a banging on the door. We started looking for weapons. I got the knife, and Roomie answered the man through the window

It was a pizza man saying we bought pizza, we were like Nooo, we just came in. Then he said your numbers not 210 2653, n were like Nooo. Then we reverse looked up that number to find an address cuz he told us to and there were no results.

the point is that the man was about to leave when I thought 'hmm, I am kinda hungry... and the pizza is already here.' so then we bought the pizza that someone pranked calle d to our house. Invited the Dj over and smoked, ate, watched a movie (I had to clean a little cuz I have someone coming to the house early in the morning), then slept.

thats me after 1 slice of pizza, while we were waiting for the Dj.

i dont know if i have mentioned this to you yet. but I am trying to be a skater girl... and im ALMOST there!!

I believe from the middle of the summer I been talking aout wanting to be a skater girl, the walk, and talk thetalk, and even knowing how to skateboard. So today I was talking to my boy and he said that I have the fashion of the skateboarder (thats the walk), I believe I have the attitude of the skater girl (walk again), so right now I just have to LEARN TO SKATEBOARD!! I'ts so hard, or maybe its just really hard for me to learn new sports and its harder just for me to learn it , digressing.. But even though its hard I think im doing really good. after only maybe a week of learning this, Ive gotten through alot, I see my progress!!

I think im so happy at this because i was talking to my dad during thanksgiving and he waslk talking about living your dreams. and how they could be happening right now, even under our noses. So at the time i didn't appreciate it and just walked it of.. but then somehow it always lingered in the back of my mind and actually though tabout it and right now I'm really living my skateboarder dream... and that makes me happy.. lol (weird, I know, sad)

my point is that I bought a skateboard:



...please excuse how it looks, im in a different state of mind right now. Ill corrent when I remember again

wheres my cutee?

I went to a party yesterday It was LIIVVEE as fuck... but now I have a problem

I got the Sweeeeeeeetest bubble.. One of those bubbles that makes you wish there was something more, one of the ones that you wake up thinking about... a fkkn good ass bubble. And i'm already sexuallly deprived right now.. can be having me wake up thinking about that sweet bubble wishing there was more.

Horney + Sexually Deprived = Males beware I might pounce.

I'm just saying, if you get too close... I have no control over what happens.

Then I went home and saw this:

Untitled from Victor Del Toro on Vimeo.

I'm no lesbian, but this shit is more then Hot.

Ps. if your wondering why you didn't get a bubble. I have 3 criteria of bubble giving:

1. you have to be cool in my books to get a bubble. Not cool = no bubble
2. Most likely if your my Ting, or if I think that you believe that this bubble will lead to something more, its not gonna happen. I just give a bubble for the bubble and nothing more.
3. If I respect you, look up to you, or I find you as a role model for me... your not getting a bubble. I would just find it to be awkward.
   

That's the stitch, now you know

Im Home

alright so take it in.. I'm back in Toronto

I needed this, come back to the roots, be myself again. Ottawa had me stressed.
So now im here and I feel like the Amanda in Ottawa is shitty compared to the Amanda in Toronto. I missed myself.

but it feels kinda weird, like I'm a guest in my own house, whatever better then shitty shitty Ottawa

But yeah Rogers did me soo wrong.. so right now I don't have a Text plan and apparently its 15cents to receive and send a text, So I wont be doing either right now. have Something to tell me either call (and keep it short cuz I only got 200 minutes) or send a text, Im able to read approximately 6 words without opening it.

...get at me

this is my shit

btw promise next time Imma keep it 100 with everything going on

sorry no pics

life is hard man and its starting to get to me... you ever feel like there is tension all around you and your try to ignore it but there is only so much you can do and the only thing that will relieve you is to stay out of that environment? well thats where I'm at right now.

But there is a boy... hes pretty cool. Like the only thing I look forward to in Ottawa and hes not even here. That, and the next time I'll be leaving Ottawa.

Ottawa just sucks, thats all.

im here

AAAHhhhh god sorry for not posting but damn school is getting to me hardcore. Its a matter of feeling like im always behind and then being off campus and not knowing when my next meal is coming and what its going to be... and then there are other things too. Not ready to share quite yet sorry.

But I am alive and well, if you were wondering. I have alot of shit to do though
Friday going to New Jersey - Grand dad renewing vows (hopefully ill have poictures)
The Next weekend is Thanksgiving - going home
The Next weekend may or may not be going to Montreal... gotta see what the economy is saying in my pocket

Got a job... pretty shitty though, But its just the job before a get a better one

Wish me luck with life, feel like im slipping away....

Miss MIA

sorry I been so MIA, but its cuz of a bunch of little reasons:

1. I was kinda really home sick. I literally took my whole room with me and I was thinking that when I go back home I don't really have a room waiting for me.
2. The whole adjustment with living with two guys. It really is an adjustment, a shocker kinda too. But don't worry I'm regulating! It may be hard to live with me because I'm kinda a neat freak, but they knew this before moving day. I was wondering if it was even a good idea to move in with guys
3. There is still one more important thing that I have to deal with. Im being patient but time is uf the essence
4. Ive been trying very hard to get a job... still on the hunt though
5. Turns out I'm a Facil. Basically one of the people that help out with FROSH week at Carleton. Everyday I'm waking up early yelling, chanting and jumping then getting home super late at night. But they feed me everyday, so I'm happy... But im getting darker by the minute

otherwise everything is pretty sweet over here!

Im Packing

Your girl is going to Ottawa tomorrow.

The day has finally come and everything is ready. Ive been busy packing and getting everything organized.

Prolly wont be getting any posts soon after this one. Dont have internet in the house yet. But when I do I'll let you guys know whats up

Ottawa Bound!

I Just want to be a Skater Girl

This is my inspiration

I really just want a skateboard. I feel like once I get that I'm going to be very happy with my life.

Sister was like "Don't you have other more important things to worry about then getting a skateboard, like your house, furniture and school"
I said "Yeah but that's a bridge I know I'm going to cross, I know I am going to get through it no matter what. I just want to know whats on the other side. And on the other side is a Skateboard!"

Right now I'm just trying to learn more about skateboards and what to start with, because I don't want to pay pro skateboard money when I don't plan on doing tricks and such. I just wanna kick, push and coast. Also because I don't want to mess up the bottom of my board

But safety first kids, that's why I'm getting my helmet, elbow pads (I already have knee pads) and then the skateboard and then all is well.

This is how I think Im gonna feel. im going to get the skatboard and then be happy, then try and learn how to do it, realize that it is really hard and then want to give up and besad, and then I'll remember how much I wanted the skatboard,the try harder and actually get it down. And then I'll be happy again.

what goin on in life?

Since this is basically my last week here in Toronto, I am trying to have last chill session with all of my friends.

So two days ago, I went to the Science Centre with Randal, (yeah that same guy that I spent caribanna with) and I was deceived by this centre a few times.

First - they don't have that human body exhibit anymore. No more skeletons and muscles and all that stuff, yet they still have those pictures up!
Second - The snakes a lizards were cool, only I thought I was gonna be able to hold on, i guess not
Third - All the snakes and Lizards were sleeping, except this one green snake. But I didn't pay my money to watch you sleep. I want all the snakes and lizards to be on attack mode when I come, or at least run on water like you do in the picture beside you, or eat a live rat or something, anything interesting.
Forth - There were no butterflies in the butterfly garden
Fifth - If you are over 15, then your too old to be going to the science centre. The whole time I was thinking "I remember is being a lot more fun the last time I came." (which was 15 year's ago... lol) But yea i was just 5 years expired, i still had fun though

Then After that I went to help Vanessa pack and everything because she was leaving for Montreal the next morning. And i got peppermint tea, dunkaroos and a drive home from it.

I hope your doing well, all alone in that apartment of yours
(I know she wont see this because she don't have internet yet, sux)

Yesterday got my hair done, chilled with sister, went on adventures and to Shoeless Joes, had spicy food (which I felt on the other end this morning, wasnt pleasant) and now I'm here, waiting for 3 so I can go shopping with sister

HomeSweetHome

We got a house!! Me and Kay and Cheif will soon be living it up in a townhouse all inclusive all to ourselves!! Pretty cheap too!

The only things we need now are furniture and food!

I dont know about you but Im SUPER DUPER EXCITED!!
Its 3 bedrooms, 2 upstairs and a room and bathroom downstairs. (I get the Master of course)
I cant wait to wake up in the morning in my own room, walk down my stairs to my kitchen and make cereal and probably sit on the black leather couch my moms givin to me and just bask in everything being mine!

On that note: if anyone has any furniture that they dont see themselves using anytime soon... fell free to donate to my new house
People keep telling me about some mysterious blueprints of the house on the website... but Mi Ciaaannt Fiinnne Emm

What A Night!

I never knew how much I missed my Ottawa fam.

Last Night was the birthday party for Jinelle, and for the whole day I said to myself that I wasnt going to go but thank goodness for my spontaneity! Party was so live I had soo much fun! But honeslty my ottawa fam, man... the way you make me feel. Like, i can be myself around you guys and just chill out, let the night play out and embrace all the adventures that life brings to us!

But It was in Markham, that was a bummer. HOWEVER their houses are so big. I dont think ive ever been to a huge house that belonged to someone normal and not rich or famous or anything. Take it in: in the backyard, pool, gazebo, pond, and running around space. In the house: 2 living rooms, one you live in n the other thats too nice for you to go in n ur parent get mad if u sit on the couches, bar, gym, pool table, flat screen TV resting on top of the Huge firplace mantel where there was a really big cushion in the middle instead of a regular table (thats how you know!)

You two sure know how to throw a party!
(I know your probably thinking "why of all the pictures did she choose this one? I look so hit!" or somthing along those lines, But I like it, cuz it captured the moment.)

Shout outs to Tenika for being the first person I saw that I knew, Sheraine for not holding back on the a-a-a-a-a-alcohol! O and Chris: for being down and Chris I think you should know that since I walked in I thought you were cute, and Im glad ur such a chill guy. O, ur cool cuz you were brave enough. Kay, you were soo right about why we missed eachother, Aidan, you make the dance floor fun. Kenny, ur special because youre the only guy that I would go up to and dance with. I mean I dance but only to you would I go up to. My friends from area, all I remember is Mariah. And opinionated hater... must say didnt like that you had to sleep but you made me smile today!

The only thing that salted the part were those security guards... always on my dick. And HEY! Mr DJ, dissappointed cuz I didnt get my song.

ps. those dudes that Ambushed my car asking me for my number, I made a mistake...you can stop texting/calling me now